Why You Get Activated by “Small Things”
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Why Does Something Tiny Feel So Big?
Have you ever had one of those moments where something tiny sets off what feels like a whole internal earthquake, and you’re left thinking… why am I reacting like this? I know that feeling so well. It’s that moment when an email won’t load, someone interrupts your day, or your dog sneezes in the wrong direction and suddenly your entire nervous system is like, “Alert alert alert.” If you’ve ever felt embarrassed by how quickly your body spirals, you’re in the right place. Let’s talk about why this happens and how it’s actually way more normal than you think.
Understanding Why Small Stressors Trigger Big Reactions
Here’s the truth a lot of us never learned. Your body reacts long before your thinking brain does. Those sensations that rush through your chest, your throat, your stomach... that tight swirl of energy that feels like something terrible is happening... that is your nervous system responding to old experiences that it stored for later. When something tiny happens today, your body doesn’t respond to the tiny thing. It responds to everything it has ever survived. Trauma researchers like Bessel van der Kolk talk about this all the time. The body keeps the score, which means the body also keeps the alarms. So a small trigger hits a big old memory bank and suddenly your system is like, absolutely not, we’ve seen this before and we did not like it.
Why This Approach Actually Works
What I love about exploring this idea is that it finally validates something women say all the time. “I know it’s small, but it feels huge.” And guess what... that feeling is real. Your nervous system doesn’t lie. When we start working with these sensations instead of judging them, resisting them, or shaming ourselves, we activate the part of the brain that can soothe instead of panic. That shift from fight or flight to rest and digest is where the magic happens. The moment you acknowledge the sensation instead of fighting it, you are already calming your system down. Dr. Stephen Porges, who developed Polyvagal Theory, explains that safety cues can shift the entire physiological state. Which means noticing your body, validating it, and giving it what it needs... is literally science backed healing.
What It Feels Like When You Start Practicing This
Let me be real… at first, this can feel awkward. Your body might resist it. Your chest might tighten. Your hips might clench. You might feel fuzzy, nauseous, or a little like you’re trying to calm down a toddler who just found a permanent marker. But then something surprising happens. When you check in with your body and ask, “Hey sweetheart, what do you need right now,” your system softens. Sometimes it wants a deep breath. Sometimes it wants a stretch. Sometimes it wants a smutty novel and a glass of wine. Sometimes it just wants to be reminded that you have a soft couch, a safe home, a lock on your door, and a pet who thinks you are the entire universe. And little by little your body goes… oh… she’s listening. I can relax now.
The Beautiful Benefits of Doing This Work
This practice is wildly powerful because it helps you build internal safety. When your nervous system learns to trust you, your emotional world shifts. You stop spiraling as fast. You bounce back sooner. The sensations lose that “I’m drowning in my own body” intensity. You begin to pendulate between activation and calm with more ease. And one of my favorite parts… you stop judging your reactions and start understanding them. That builds self compassion, which reduces shame, which makes regulating your emotions easier, which helps you show up with more confidence, clarity, and connection. It’s all connected. Your nervous system is literally learning that you are a safe person to live inside of. That is the most profound relationship you will ever build. 💛
Try It This Week and See What Shifts
So here’s your gentle nudge for the week. The next time your body reacts to something “small,” pause and check in. Ask yourself what you need. Give your system evidence that you’re safe. Offer yourself that soothing voice you wish someone had offered you years ago. Start small… be curious… and let yourself explore what happens when you stop fighting your body and start partnering with it. You might be surprised by how much softer your world feels when you do.
