Your Dance of Attachment Quiz Results Are In!

Disorganized Attachment

The Pendulum Swing Dance

Your relationship style resembles a swing danceβ€”chaotic, unpredictable, and full of mixed signals. One moment, you’re pulling close; the next, you’re pushing away.

It’s like your heart and mind are dancing to two different beats.

You crave love, but it also feels unsafe. You want connection, but vulnerability triggers alarm bells. It’s exhausting, confusing, and hard to know what you really need.

πŸ’‘ Where It Comes From

The roots of anxious attachment usually trace back to early relationships, often with caregivers who were inconsistent in their responses.

  • Sometimes they were warm and attentive.

  • Other times, they were distracted, overwhelmed, or emotionally unavailable.

As a child, you learned to stay hyper-aware of others' moods, adjusting your rhythm to avoid disconnection. You became skilled at anticipating needs and soothing conflictβ€”because uncertainty felt unbearable.

This early pattern taught you one thing: Stay close, or risk being left behind.

❀️ How It Shows Up Now

That inner push-pull continues into adulthood:

  • You crave intimacy but instinctively pull back when things get too close.

  • You might sabotage relationships without fully understanding why.

  • Conflict can feel overwhelming, triggering fight, flight, or freeze responses.

  • Trusting both yourself and your partner feels nearly impossible.

It’s not that you’re indecisive or dramaticβ€”you’re just caught between two competing survival instincts: approach and avoid.

🚫 How These Patterns Hold You Back

This swing dance of emotions can leave you feeling powerless and disconnected:

  • Self-Sabotage: Pulling away when someone gets too close, even if you want the connection.

  • Hypervigilance: Constantly reading between the lines, expecting rejection or betrayal.

  • Emotional Whiplash: Oscillating between intense closeness and emotional shutdown.

  • Distrust: Struggling to believe that love can be both safe and lasting.

The hardest part? It can feel like you’re stuck in an endless cycle of β€œcome here, go away.”

🌿 But Here’s the Good News…

The swing doesn’t have to control your relationships forever.

By understanding your attachment wounds, identifying your needs, and learning to regulate your emotions, you can shift into a more balanced, secure rhythm.

Imagine this instead:
πŸ’› You navigate intimacy without feeling trapped or panicked.
πŸ’› You trust your partner’s love without constantly questioning it.
πŸ’› You communicate your needs without fearing rejection or betrayal.

That’s the power of moving from disorganized to secure attachment.

🎧 Want to Learn More?

Listen to my 4-part podcast series on attachment styles, where I break down each style, how it impacts your relationships, and what you can do to feel more secure in love.

Salsa of Uncertainty - Anxious Attachment

Pendulum Swing Dance - Disorganized Attachment

Solo Tango - Avoidant Attachment

Smooth Waltz - Secure Attachment

Don’t Miss Out On All of the amazing relationship Advice. Subscribe to The Speak Honest Podcast Today

Ready to shift your rhythm and feel secure in love?

The Relationship Reboot Membership is a supportive, ongoing journey that helps you understand your attachment style, heal past wounds, and build stronger, more authentic connections. As a member, you'll have access to 12 comprehensive modules that include videos, worksheets, journal prompts, and more. With personalized coaching, practical tools, and continuous support, you'll gain the confidence and skills to transform your relationship from the inside out at your own pace and with the flexibility you need.

Our Success Stories

Why Choose the
Relationship Reboot Program?

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What You’ll Gain:

  • Expert Guidance: Personalized mentorship from an experienced coach.

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Weekly Group Coaching Call Blueprint

Our group coaching schedule is designed to be flexible and accommodating to ensure everyone can participate fully.

Here’s the current plan:

Tuesdays: 1.5 Hour Coaching Session

Time: 3:30pm PT / 5:30pm CT / 6:30pm ET

  • Focus: Weekly Topic Discussion & Accountability

  • Details: We’ll dive deep into the topic of the week, discuss progress, and hold each other accountable for the previous week’s goals.

Thursdays: 1.5 Hour Homework Help

Time: 5pm PT / 7pm CT / 8pm ET

  • Focus: Homework Assistance & Q&A

  • Details: This session is dedicated to helping with any homework assignments and answering any questions you might have.

Fridays: 1:1 Office Hours

Time: 9am-12pm PDT / 12pm - 3pm EDT

  • Focus: Personalized Support

  • Details: I’ll be available for one-on-one support to address your specific needs. You can book your 15 min time slot that works best for you.

Dance of attachment

In her TEDx talk, Jenn breaks down each attachment style, how they shape your connections, and the steps to start healing your attachment dance today.

Curious but not sure where to start? Schedule a FREE Attachment Assessment with Jenn, your go-to relationship coach, and discover the first steps toward the secure, fulfilling relationships you deserve.